new start

2010-03-13T08:58:00.000-08:00

i hate it when u disappear suddenly, hate the feeling tt i cant find u, wondering if are alrite, wondering if u gt into a accident or wat...
hate it when u are wif guys tt i dunno who are them.. guess i am getting jealous ba..
wonder if i am turning into a possessive bastard...

2010-03-11T22:40:00.001-08:00

Restarting this blog, wanna post down all my ups and downs from now on. A apn once told me to nvr become immune to the pts suffering and just treat nursing as a job. Its something i think i will not forget. Waiting 4 my enlistment letter, looking 4ward yet feeling kinda unhappy, while i am training in BMT, my friends who choose to become a nurse would be starting their way to help ppl. 2 yrs down the road, will i still remember all my skills? Really hope tt i can still remember. Ppl say tt we learn though making mistakes, i dun think it applies to nursing, after all, when we make mistakes, we might cause harm to our pts who we have sworn not to hurt but to help and heal. Oh well, just some random thinking.

2009-10-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

6 weeks of attachments are over, during this weeks weeks, can say gt ups and downs?
first 3 weeks was at ward 5b, truth to be told, this was the 1st ca i felt stress.haha, its a cardio and respi ward, and it was chaos there almost everyday. regret cos i dint get to take much case there,
last 3 weeks was at ward 1od, a neuro ward. its quite slow pace, at first cant get use to it, cos use to the chaos in 5b, but slowly jiu ok le, still,i wont choose neuro to spec in.haha...
learnt alot over this 6 weeks, more confident in functioning as a SN. took 3 max cases, wanted to take more but was not allowed to. oh well, prcp will have more. quite happy tt i met a APN tt was willing to teach me if i have any questions, will work harder and harder, towards my goal =)
looking 4ward to prcp, cant wait 4 it to start

post exams and memories.

2009-08-24T10:56:00.001-07:00

Today… my final exam of my poly life.. This marks the end of my poly education. Come to think of it, 2 and half years passed in a blink of an eye. Still remember the very first day i step into Ngee Ann polytechnic as a student. Can still remember how i met all my friends there. Meidan and Amy sat to my left and right respectively. Still remember Meidan asking me what was my name and the way i replied her… haha, It was quite funny as i dint know how to react and just withdraw back into my shell and give them my attitude face. From what she said after making friends, she felt like bashing me up.HAHA! Know a girl during the end of year one that would turn out to be my “daughter” haha!, yes HUIXIAN!,talking about you!,haha..

In a way, i am thankful that Meidan actually took the first step to ask me to join amy,jo,xiangqin,sharity and of cause, herself. As i am used to being alone, i dint know how to make friends. It was her that took the first step to befriend me even though my attitude was bad. haha.. Still remember P13 cohort 07, with miss liang as our mentor, remember how she would speak more and more softly when we talk in class till we auto shut up cause we cant hear what she was saying.HAHA. remember our first class outing at east coast.. During that time, i was still abit of a loner, but they manage to make me open up my shell and accept new friends. 2nd sem came, miss liang was no longer our mentor. Our mentor then became miss hui, the youngest lecturer that i ever saw. I bet she cant forget us either as we were the very first class she took =) , fond memories all the way. haha.. jacelyn came into my life during this time as well as my older then me but yet calling me kor kor de cute little sis.haha.. The way we became friends was quite funny and weird but still. am glad that i have a wonderful “sister” like her =).

Then came year 2, where sharity and xiangqin was seperated to different class from us. it was a sad moment, but we still manage to remain friends =). miss lynda become our mentor then. It was a fun sem as we learnt specialised knowledge regarding the O&G wards, the paeds wards and the mental patients. During this time, i met a special girl who would go on to become the most important and best part of my life. The 2nd sem of year 2 was stressful as we had quite alot of heavy topics. Miss shree became our mentor and her lessons was always a blast, with super lots of laughing and stories. It was also during this time that adora started to come into our group =). Still remember the class outing where less then 1/3 of the class turn up and miss shree going to the wrong place. LOL to that.. haha.

year 3, our most important year, its sad to say that we have alot of disagreement but in the end, i hope that it makes us have a stronger friendship =). miss chang was our mentor. She was abit strict at first but she tone down on us after some time. guess she fall for the charm of P13! haha!

my daughter =)

during class where we were playing instead of listetning.LOL!

amy and adora, wonder what amy looking at.ahaha

our famous AUNTIE DAN!,=) always lots of laughter with her around =)

my dear mei mei that is older then me.haha

the first time i gave an injection!

the girls trying to feel how guys pee (weird experiment)

edwin!, my brother from different mother.LOL

me and joshie, wonderful brother of mine too =)

our year 2.1 class outing =)

random pic while waiting 4 class

me in uniform! haha!

Our class photo =)

To dan: thank you for making friends with me way back in year one, you change my life with this simple gesture from you

To amy: we had our share of disagreements, but still, thank you for everything that you have done

To adora: had fun talking about the future and crapping about nonsense with you =) its great to know you

To Jo: even though you always dun come for class, but you still manage to bring life to the group when you came =)

To Xiangqin: my blur xiao mei, thank you for being there for me for the 2 and half years =) it meant alot to me =)

To Jace: my mei mei too, thanks for ur advices and also all the fun moments we had =)

To Xian: Thanks for being around for me to “shoot” it really helped me to calm down my temper alot of times =)

To Joshie: thanks for coming into P13! you save me from being the only guy again! lol

To edwin: thanks for all the fun we have during attachments and in school=)

People mention below i dont have their photos so never post their face

Desmond and RuiHao, thanks for all your encouragement for the 2 and half years

miss liang,miss chang,miss shree,miss lynda and miss hui, thank you all for the teaching us how to be a good nurse =)

As mention above, during my attachment at KKH ward 55, i met the person that would go on to be the most important person of my life. At that point of time, we dint know what the future had in store for us. We just thought that we would be normal friends and nothing else, still remember her nick name,TEH C~ hehe. After our attachment at KKH, we had periodic smses but seldom alot. As though guided by fate, we sms more and more as our 2nd attachment started. Still remember that i would hide in the store just to sms her during working hours =) luqman was always teasing me about it.haha… we had our IMH posting together but in different ward. Manage to met you for dinner for the very first time. haha, send you home that night. Still remember, at the staircase at the base of your block. I was thinking of how to say it. and i just went

me:still remember you ask me though the phone who the girl i like ma?

you:ya lor, but you dun want say ma..

me:you want i tell you now lor.. actually, the girl is you..

you:ooo

aahahaha, your reaction was so funny. its like totally no reaction. haha. went back home via 39 after that. Over the next 3 weeks, we still talk on phone and sms each other daily. You never did tell me who you like, but you had already give me clues to it, i was just too stupid to understand it. Finally, on the 101008 at 0005 hours, you accepted me. that was the happiest moment of my life. From then till now, its being almost 11 months. This 11 months has been the best time for me ever, its too short for me and i really hope that we will be able to last for the rest of our life.

After all this, i just want to say

THANK YOU FOR STEPPING INTO MY LIFE

I LOVE YOU TAY WANJIE, YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE

prac test

2009-06-01T09:45:00.001-07:00

hmmmm.. prac test was consider ok i guess..ahahaha, did something super funny though

lec: what is time out?

me: eh… it is when the surgery is being stopped

lec: for wat?

me: eh.. surgeon tired wan take break

lec: i let u think first

end up… time out is the time when we check patient b4 surgery start.super throw face la.lol

but my skills still veri gd.hehe

hmmm.. interview on this thurs. sian, resume nt done. tie not found.KILL ME PLZ!!! found a veri pretty photo of my darling.

pretty rite.hee

photos at pizza hut today =)

kkz, gonna go slp soon, nights peepz

back again

2009-05-31T07:41:00.001-07:00

haha, here i am, back again to blogger.lol.. prac test is tml. sian lor. i still nt veri sure wif the dressing, tink kanna tt will die.. hmmm.. interview on this thurs, have to wear formal. think i gonna look like a freak >.<. life being veri hectic i guess. wif work, fyp, sch.. haha..really cant wait 4 june25th… haha.. also looking 4ward to the chalet, in a way.haha. my laptop’s fan seems to be giving me some trouble though. the whole thing hangs when its too hot.. haha. cos i over worked it.lol..

celebrated danial’s bday on last sat. it was….. nt veri fun i guess..haha, shall nt say more… lol..

hmmm… jl going into bmtc sch one this fri. bit envy him… reallly wish to go in soon.. its weird i noe. but… there is just the excitment inside although i noe its gonna be physically tough, emotionally wise too as i would be seperated wif my dearest gal for quite a long period of time. hmm, pros and cons i guess.. oh well. wat i do noe is tt nw i nid to train up.haha. also , gonna spend more time wif my darling and my frens as i would be disappearing for a long time. haha. also not forgetting my family although i am nt tt close to them, but wat the heck, still family.haha

wondering if i would spend my 21stbday in or out. haha, i got a bad feeling tt i would be in my 2 weeks confinement period during my 21st bday.haha. hope its wrong.. niway, i am damn stress abt my prac test tml, hope i dun get dressing, if i really get tt, think my grades will drp ba.. so ppl. WISH ME LUCKS.HAHA

holis

2009-02-25T18:37:00.001-08:00

exams are finally over and its the 1st day of holis today… and i gonna say this. I AM BORED!!!!

and its just the first day…. zzzz oh ya. gonna say one thing more. ANGELINE!!! Y U COME OUT ARDS!!!!

zzzz… oh well.. its over.haha….

upcoming is genting. super looking 4ward. wakakakak.

2009-02-13T06:42:00.001-08:00

even though its ur house, wat gives u the fucking right to open my drawer and reading my letters without permission?! i hate it when ppl touch my things without my permission AND u noe it! YET U STILL DO IT. fuck la, wif all the crap tt u do, and u still can ask y i wanna move out, rather then asking me, ASK URSELF Y!!!!

3rd mth =)

2009-01-10T09:02:00.001-08:00

today, or rather, yesterday was our 3rd mth, hee.. morning went to help out 4 OT 4 open house, overslpt, was late.. but leader was later.LOL.. lok came wif 2 of her frens, disturbed her all the way.wakakaka. open house was ok, busy, but that was expected.. haha. miss bao keep asking me to be the doctor >.< manage to siam though. hahaa. met darling at sim bus stop after tt. went down to JP wif her. hee, go shop 4 clothes cos she haven buy her new year clothes, went to quite a few shops, saw a skirt tt both me and her think is nice, but when she go try. its SUPER short la. lol. so she dun wan. then go john little, brought a top and skirt there.

wat do u all think? nice? hahahahahha, we then went down to bentobox to eat. hahaa. after tt go walk ard. saw a shirt i like, but bit ex.so nvr buy. after tt we go back to clementi. hahaha, brought a top there. no photos yet.show tml ba. ahaha. then we go back her ganma house 4 dinner be4 i go off at 10. wakaka. so be4 i go off, heres a last pic

heeeee, nights ppl =)

first day

2008-12-15T05:09:00.000-08:00

hmmm, today first day at attachment. not bad la, CI is veri nice, manage to gif ventolin today.haa. nth much.tml pm shift.. i love attachment.waakak

FUCK IT

2008-12-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

class bbq was fucked up.. seriously.. ppl pulling out suddenly, last min telling me things... hw the heck am i suppose to do a gd class outing if my class is so fucked up! even the teacher dint turn up in the end. actually cooled down le. after reading someting. i gt angry again. so much 4 wanting to help, fuck it. from nw on, i wont gif a SHIT abt anything cept for ppl tt matters to me!

over

2008-11-27T06:44:00.001-08:00

CT is finally over.. haha... overall. everything is easiler then i thought though i dint study.. haha
going 4 job interview tml. hope can get the job ba... nth much to update also..

CT

2008-11-23T07:33:00.001-08:00

CT is ard the corner. good luck everyone.

no longer a kid!

2008-11-16T07:11:00.001-08:00

damn it, stop treating me like a kid! i wan my own freedom too k!!!!

went to ah bee de bday today. haha. ate alot. fat le fat le....
hmmmm, i finally finish my NR.wakakkka nth much to say ba.. just wanna move out asap

kiasu-ness of singaporeans

2008-11-11T16:47:00.000-08:00

hmmm, y i reallly wonder, is singaporeans sooooooo damn kiasu? cant we just move in when we take bus or train? ya, standing near the door allow us to get down faster and more easy,BUT did we stop to think abt those who wanna get on the bus/train, its nt onli us tt wanna get hm faster, the ppl waiting at the bus stop too!
2nd, the bus haven even stop, yet everyone is rushing to get off, u think the bus driver is gonna just drive off when he noes u wanna alight, maybe in the train cos the driver cant see, but its a bus damn it! so just shoving ppl just so we wanna get off, when u push ppl, the person being push will get pissed off, esp if its nt just 1 or 2 times, and when ppl snap and scolds u, u become BS? but its ur fault at the start
haix,
hw can we be a first world country if our ppl is like this?i really wonder..

weekends

2008-11-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

i reallly really hate weekends, always nth to do. haha... and i just remember tml nid to hand in NR, and i haven do, gd luck to me.. hmmm
went xian house to play marjong just nw.. haha....
and i lose.. and i nth much to say le, bb

happy day

2008-10-30T10:28:00.001-07:00

hmmm, today damn stupid, cos i 4get gt no nsl, went to sch early for 2 hrs
then had ns2,
after tt went PS wif darling, watch the show REC, its totally nt nice,haha. ending veri weird, then send darling hm. hee...
hm nw and tml is sch again, nights

true or nt, decide 4 urself

2008-10-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

Kelvin uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Kelvin does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Kelvin will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Kelvin is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Kelvin tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Kelvin writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Kelvin will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says "he didn't hear you", he really means, he didn't hear you.

Kelvin will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Kelvin believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Kelvin will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Diplomacy is one of Kelvin's best attributes. He has the ability to say what others want to hear. He can have tact with others. He has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Kelvin can disagree without being disagreeable.

Kelvin is a cumulative and procedural thinker. He likes to have all the facts before making a decision. He thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. His thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Kelvin learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once he has learned new material, and understood it, he won't forget.

Kelvin is a methodical thinker, therefore he is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, he often loses to rapid thinking people because he is thinking thirty minutes later about what he should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate.

He may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other "less detailed" people, but once he gets it, he can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, he can handle it better than most.

Kelvin is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Kelvin basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Kelvin is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. He works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps him from success. Often, Kelvin changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes he changes because he feels he needs a different challenge. Kelvin feels dejected. This feeling relates to his failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. He must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from him or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change his life.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Kelvin has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Kelvin fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Kelvin has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Kelvin just comes into someone's home and helps himself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Kelvin finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when he was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.

lalalal

2008-10-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

meet kenny, jl, bird, yy , fy , hao, jk, for lan today, hahah, quite fun ar, kanna chiong like siao for zero hr la! lol. then cs, and dota, so long nvr play all this games, kanna own quite a bit cept 4 dota,haha
then went play bowling, hahaha. damn funny la, tt bird ar, he go use those light light ball, then cannot fit into his hand. then when he release the ball, can hear a pop sound, damn funny, then went np for dinner
darling was at np also, so went look 4 her for a while, she was feel her frens hui yi and bel, haha, then went hm after dinner, sians, presentation on wed and things are nt ready!!!

working

2008-10-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

currently at work nw.
hmmm, i wanna say sry to dear.. for thinking all those nonsense thoughts.. will try my best to stop thinking soo much de.. i am sry =(

beginnings

2008-10-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

轻轻放
我就是卸不下对你的喜欢
原来爱会慢慢增加重量
想关上这城市所有的灯光
黑暗中专心闻你的发香
这夜晚让(两个人有话冰感)
回想
与你约会过的地方
有舍不得的伤
在脑海里储存欣赏
你微笑浏览.手机里的浪漫
原来真心终究还是这么简单
温馨影幕上
你可爱的模样
关于缘分的解释
我又多传了一行
你微笑浏览手机里的浪漫
原来爱情可以来得这么突然
当新的较量
就好比情拉长
我们的感情蔓延珍藏拥吻着飞扬-…
在雪里土壤
电池长
嘈杂的情歌还在拼命播放
我安静在那(却都没点印象)
有一些话到老了(都不敢传)
她说她信息等你在(回难)
简单说……人潮冲动我的孤单
想象……(信息一定都陪在你身旁)
却不会吟唱
你也在等你手机响……
你微笑浏览手机里的浪漫
原来真心终究还是这么简单
温馨影幕上
你可爱的模样
关于缘分的解释
我又多传了一行
你微笑浏览手机里的浪漫
原来爱情可以来得这么突然
当新的较量
就好比情拉长
我们的感情蔓延珍藏拥吻着飞扬-…
在雪里土壤

i love this song, it reminds me hw me and dear began. by sms. lol, come to think of it, we dint even go out be4 we got together,LOL, something always crop up. but wat matters is we are together nw. today is the 11th day, dear, i wanna let u noe, this 11 days is the happiest i have been, and i know we are gonna cre8 lots and lots of happy memories together in the future too =)
even though its just 11 days old, i wan u to know that i love you =)

swit mouth(nt wt u think!)

2008-10-19T10:26:00.001-07:00

hahah. went to my auntie house today. nth much to do, watched the haunting. its super boring. oh well, talk to my cousin alot, just crap and things. haha, had pizza hut for dinner. but onli ate abit.haha, went off at 9 to go fetch dear. then send her hm before i go hm, its nw 1.30 and my lesson is at 9 tml >.<

BORED

2008-10-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

me and you =)
our hands =)

see no evil!!! haha

hahahha, i am sooooo bored tt i uploading photos, hhaa, lalala, i am bored!

sch start

2008-10-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

schs finally starting tml!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
firstly, i wanna welcome all those new comers to ngee ann HSN =) * claps claps*
LOL
i too happy le. cos sch start le.haha
ther, updated =P so cannot scold me liao.wakakkakak

pressured

2008-09-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

i feel veri pressured...
i wonder..
wat would u all do in my shoes....
haix.. y am i always in a situation where i have to choose...

misses

2008-09-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

I MISS YOU.....

3 weeks

2008-09-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

in 3 weeks, i wanna do alot of things,
i wanna slim down
i wanna save money
i wanna finish at lest half of the bible
i wanna get more clothes be4 sch starts( nid help 4 this)
i wanna get myself in the correct mindset 4 studies
and of cos
i wanna know her more =)

happiness

2008-09-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

hmmm, attachments ended, come to think of it. this 1 mth passed veri veri fast. started at CDC, worked wif jason, luqman, zul, wati. enjoyed working wif them, though i guess there were diferences between me and jason, CI amy was strict, but she really help me learn alot. and 4 tt, i am grateful
went onto IMH after tt, it was quite boring, veri slow pace, but then, after 2 weeks there, i gt really attached to my patients.. i miss them, i wont 4get u all. plz take care of urself even though u wont see this, i wish u all all the best for ur future
for u to read
hmm, all this i wanted to tell u tt night, but i lack the guts to do it so i can onli say here
i noe tt i am nt gd looking, i noe tt i am big size, but i believe that u wont just look at my looks alone,
i noe that i am also quite weird in alot of things, but still, it is wat makes me well, me. also, i wanna say sorry if i scared u that night as it was a sudden thing 4 me to say, but wat i said, i am serious, i was not joking, and i will work hard to win your heart.

argh

2008-08-31T09:28:00.001-07:00

hmmm, tml morning shift, yet i am still awake.. feeling irritable nw.. dunno y.. haix.. random note,i hate to be controlled

1st day

2008-08-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

1st day at cdc today.. hmmm can describe it in a few words, messy, gloomy, depressing...
wont wan to work there even if they offer me all the money in the world. the way they pass report cannot make it sia >.< can 4get to pass diagnosis de. power lor... haix.. 1st day onli, CI gif so many things to do. oh well. just have to do it i suppose.. 2 more days.. and i would have disappeared from them 4 one week.....

thoughts and feelings

2008-08-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

ironically, this entry is gonna be happy yet sad. oh well
exams are finally over, heard tt results are gonna be out on sep15, see hw it goes from there.
rewind back to 2 weeks ago, i gt my laptop. my auntie decided to get one for me after knowing tt i always nid to borrow from frens if i nid one. its a blessing indeed. talking bout blessings, i feel so blessed by the Lord. been getting more pay more times nw, laptop, somehw or rather able to do nt all but most of the qths during exams even though i studied last min. haha...

hmmm, hwever, my relationships are a total diaster. i agree wif nad tt i did nt open up enough at the start of my friendship wif u all, hwever, i realise and opened up more, if nt by alot but still, i did, hwever, u all dint realise it. maybe this is nt the best place to say it, but i am past caring nw..
i always felt awkward wif u all even though u all dun realise it, hw would u feel if are in a enviroment filled wif guys and u being the onli gal ard? maybe u all would find tt its a big deal, maybe its really nt a big deal, but at times, its really veri awkward..
maybe a few of u dont realise this, but u all seem to onli talk bout ur bfs, nth else, most of the time, the conversations are centred ard them.. its veri....annoying to say the lest of it, yeah i noe i do tease u all bout them, but then i dun always do tt do i? maybe i feel jealous tt u all have a gd relationship and i dun. but it does nt change the fact tt it does nt feel gd 4 me.. 1 of u told me tt its just hw i think, tt ur fren also single but she noe the right one 4 her is out there someday, but tt as u say, is her, nt me. i dun feel tt there is someone out there, i always envy ppl who manage to be together wif someone tt loves them, yet, i alway see/hear them complaining to me bout them. i have nt been in a relationship be4 to noe hw its like, but i do noe tt no differences cannot be solved by communicating. everytime ppl come to me wif relationship probs, i have to be a counselor and listening ear, after a while, i feel like i am been mocked by ppl, like everyone is telling me tt at lest i gt someone to argue wif, i noe its just me tts thinking tt, no one else thinks tt when they call me. but this thought wont go away... at this point of time, i noe tt alot of ppl is most likely feeling angry wif me, angry wif wat i am saying etc etc, well... as i had said, i am past caring. and i already have a course of action i would take..
i have already taken all tt i could, so its game over.. therefore, gd bye

random...

2008-08-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

having random thoughts.. seem to be needing less and less slp lately.. all i feel like doing nw is to STOP thinking for one single day.. just one.. let my mind rest for 1 day.. let me stop thinking bout all the darn problems tat seem to be coming in non stop

tired.. wanting rest yet nt finding any....

running

2008-08-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

been jogging regularly for a few weeks nw... but then... am i doing it for training as i said i am. or am i just trying to run away from something?
i dunno..
i can feel the changes coming.
i can feel tat something is gonna happen soon
lets hope my instincts are wrong this time rd...

nurses day

2008-08-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

happy nurses day to all the nurses out there. niway, ignore my last post

haha.. wat a joke.....

2008-07-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

in e end.. it dint really matter at all dint it? some how, everything has changed.. we are not who we all are in the past... maybe all this is for the better? maybe its just better tat we leave each other alone from nw on? maybe i just feel veri tired.. i do agree tat i am at fault for some matters, but is it just entirely my fault? i dunno? all i noe nw is tat.. i am tired. and i wan out

sleepless nights...... again.

2008-07-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

its nw 5.37 am, i dint slp again.. haha.. wonder hw long my body can last.lol....
having NS3 presentation later on.. jia you to everyone. hahaha
HR goes up
RR goes up
BP goes up cos of u? lol
think i'm nuts over the lack of slp

time waster

2008-07-29T02:43:00.000-07:00

dun waste my time can.. first its like this, then its like tat. can make up ur mind anot!!! i am so sick and tired of doing all this.. sometimes. i am just so angry wif u..

looking 4ward

2008-07-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

lalalala,blogging from adora's laptop nw.haha, my lecturer is late by 1 HOUR!!! and shes still nt here yet,lol.. power ar.. haha.bored.. sooooo looking 4ward to later!!! dark knight!!! wooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!! i nuts.. haha. guess the lack of slp is getting to me >.< niway. exams are coming soon T.T hope i can pass it

argh!! i got warning letter for ns3!!! darn!!!

foolish me

2008-07-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

ok... so i did nt slp last night.. was in a sort of normal mood today, though is forcing myself to be normal.ha... fnish my elaha slides. had my retest for ns3. it was in 1 word, BAD... oh well
haa..
come to think of it.. i really seem like a fool... feels like 1 nw, the feeling sux... oh well... guess this is wat happens to fools..

angry wif myself

2008-07-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

its like 230 am in the morning and yet here i am blogging... hmmm i really do lead a crazy life >.<
feeling angry wif myself... been doing things tat i wanna quit.... argh... i cant seem to stop myself. fustrated... and angry... do i still deserve His forgivness even though i keep doing those wrong things... haix..

thinking hard

2008-07-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

yoz.. blogging from jl house nw, haha.. wah today make wasted trip down to cwp, go there end up no stock for me to sell. tupid boss.hahahah
niway, at lest it gifs me a chance to go 4 cg
haha
CG IS FUN MAN hahhaa... too bad i cant go 4 service tml. oh well. shall pray for forgivness tonight..
and i will NT backslide again. and tt is a promise to myself and to God =)

busy busy busy

2008-07-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

sry ar, been too busy to update.dint even have time to online, schs been keeping me veri veri busy
aha, and work too, gonna keep this short
oh man, no service for me this week,had to work,darn!!!!
oh ya, wanna thx amy, meidan, sharity,xiangqin and jo!!! thxs for the present =)
tats all, bb

blessed

2008-07-13T04:40:00.000-07:00

ages since i last blogged.haha.... lots of things happened, firstly,i went back to church,haha... secondly,i got my motivation to study back.haha....
so well. prac test is this coming tues, jia you to myself, i can do it.haha, went for service today, hmm. pastor kong talked bout self esteem,self value, self respect and self worth. haha.. learnt quite alot, so i'm gonna work harder on myself, not gonna look down on myself again. =)
hmm, work is going well, wanna quit my weekend job soon, i nid the time 4 church and cell grp.haha..
God really blessed me today, i was thinking should i put my last 2 dollars in for offering, cos i really no money le, in the end,i decided to just offer it and believe in God, and nw, my parents struck 4D!. lol, and my mum told me tat i dun nid to pay her back the 200 plus bucks i owe her for the com repair. so happy =) i feel blessed =)

2008-06-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

You are a Builder

You are detail-oriented, cautious, and practical, making you a BUILDER.

You are excellent at focusing on the concrete, functional elements of things, so you're good at making things happen.

Pursuing novel ways of doing things helps you to be efficient.

You're great to have on a team, as you understand how things work and don't let your ego get in the way.

You're perceptive, down-to-earth, and realistic.

You don't see a need to commit to a set routine or schedule—you'd rather improvise a little.

Although you may doubt yourself sometimes, you have the skills and the curiosity to pursue broader adventures.

You like to consider a lot of information before making big decisions, and you think about that information in realistic, thorough ways.

You don't concern yourself with flashy styles or surface appearances—you're far too sensible for that.

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts

You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

If you want to be different:

Think more abstractly about things without abandoning your valuable sensibility.

how you relate to others

You are Generous

Your awareness of those around you, along with your nuanced perceptions of the world at large, makes you the GENEROUS person that you are.

You value time to yourself and understand how rich your private world can be—you know that you don't have to go wild to have a good time.

You are excited and energized by ideas and often enjoy things more through observation than through experience.

This tendency gives you an appreciation for different perspectives and opinions about the world.

Being as aware of others as you are doesn't mean you find it easy to trust them immediately—this is something that happens more slowly for you.

Despite this, you are aware of the complexities of many situations and are reluctant to pass judgments on others.

Although you have fewer friendships than some people, those that you have are meaningful and are important to you.

You value spending time alone—it is while reflecting on the world around you that you often learn something new about yourself or begin to understand something that's been bothering you.

If you want to be different:

Given how attuned you are to others' thoughts and feelings, you might find that trusting people more is a way to broaden your perspective even further.

While you know how much can be learned from observing the world around you, remember that much of life can be lived by experiencing it, not just by understanding it.

emo...

2008-06-18T06:27:00.000-07:00

attachment is ending... cant bear to leave the ward... i really like paeds... y is it so unfair... y cant guys work in paeds? y cant guys take care of kids, we do like kids too... hw come all hospitals dun take guys into their paeds wards... haix.. feels tat its damn unfair to us guys.... i reallly wanna go into paeds... take care of the kids... miss kim says tat i am nt suitable 4 wards.. cos i get too attached emotionally.. but i disagree... hw are we suppose to care for our patients if we ourselves dun get attached to them? we can gif them out 100percent care is becos we gotten attached to them.. we wan them to get well... nt tat i am saying tat we dun wan patients tat we are nt attached to to remain sick. but i just feel tat we can do so much better for our patients if we are at lest abit attached... haix.... really feel veri sad... to other ppl,maybe its nt a big deal.. just go other dept lor.. but i spend my whole yr 1 looking 4ward to paeds.. looking 4ward to grad, looking 4ward to be able to work wif kids when i become a registered nurse.. in the end, this happened... feels so discouraged... and i start to wonder... will i still be motivated enough to complete my studies nw tat i noe i wont be able to go where i wan in the future.....

2008-06-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

dunno true anot, u all decide 4 me ba... haha...

2008-06-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

burp, lol..sry ppl. hha, veri long since i last updated. hmmm, common test is finally over. and attachments are starting next monday.. bit sianz.. but also looking 4ward to it at the same time. cos its going to be at paeds ward. haha.. went out for tuition teaching today. then met jacelyn cos she wanna change her atm card to the new go card, but then dunno hw to do it,dumb ~ hahahahahha
working tml and sun, sooooo not looking 4ward to it.. zzz! but nid the money so too bad.... ha...

com broke down`

2008-05-27T21:47:00.001-07:00

sry ppl,cant really update much nw. my com broke down.... so wont get to update till i repair it,sry ar

its been long..

2008-05-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

finally..back to using blogger... time is running out... its time 4 me to decide to take a stand.. or keep my silence 4ever.. but.. i still cant decide.. oh well... to hell wif it then...
common test is coming, prac test is coming! someone kill me plz... can think of a few person who will gladly do it actually.. ha...

a new beginninger =D

2008-03-01T00:07:00.000-08:00

a new blog to start new beginning to many things =D haha. attachments started a week ago. went back to 5D. really missed tat place. had lots of fun there. the patients are sort of nice,but seriously,the sister nids to work on her attitude man. students does not mean tat she can just put the blame on us k.hmmm, supposed to work today BUT i was too tired tat i told my supervisor tat i am sick. she wans a mc though but hack care la.not gonna submit one cos i got none anyway.haha
hmmm.i'm gonna take the advice of u ppl. moving on 4 me liao. read an interesting ebook, seriously though,i seem to absorb better when i read something.haha, ziu has been telling me bout all this things in the ebook but i dint really pracitise it. nw, i actually start practising it witout realising it.haha. so moral of the story, write to me if u really wan me to do something.LOL

PS: i REALLY REALLY REALLY wans the gundams from gundam 00!!!!!!

hanging on is not gonna help matters, just move on
life is about moving forward anyway =)